Upon Discovering That Hollywood Really Is Making a Movie Based On the Battleship Board Game
Tuesday, December 6th, 2011[SCENE. Office, Big Hollywood Studio. Producer behind desk. Director stands in front.]
PRODUCER: What board games haven’t been made into a movie franchise yet?
DIRECTOR: Pretty much all of them have, I think.
P (gently prodding): All of them? Come on, think! What’s left?
D: Well…. there’s… there’s…. no I can’t say it…. it’s too stupid…
P (more loudly): Spit it out man! This is Hollywood! Nothing is too stupid here!
D: Well…. um… there’s (gulps) … Battleship?
P: Battleship! Genius! That’s it. Now, how to make it zing? What’s that thing we always do?
D: Add aliens?
P: Someone give this guy 10 million dollars! Cause we’ve got a hit!